Do two people have to be co-dependent?

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“For a relationship to work out the two ppl must be co-dependent.” my friend HY said to me during our wine and appetizer get together Friday evening. I am not sure how the conversation got started but when she came to that conclusion..it made me think. And I said..”you know..I think that is true..” Oh I remember now! I was telling her that the girl I was talking to at B&D’s just got engaged to this guy that lives in LA..she’s known him for four months..they met during an online discussion about her dog..next thing you know..she’s quit her job and is moving down there this month. I said to HY..”I believe in it ..that it can happen..where you just meet someone and just know it and you guys decide to just get married and live happily for as long as you do..I won’t say forever because who knows anymore.” And she said..”maybe they both learned to depend on eachother.” And I said “after 4 months? They’re not even in the same town! What if he turns out to be psycho and crazy?” And I am not sure what we went off about after that and then we got to talking about guys (girls too but since we we’re women talking about men..I will refer to men here) and how some of them out there are just too self involved with themselves and their own success that they really don’t need a woman in their life. They think they do and that’s why they enter the dating scene..but they really don’t. Exhibit A- HY is currently seeing this guy..been 6 months now? A year maybe? He is an investment banker..very successful at it..they see eachother..spend time with eachother..but that’s about it. They don’t have much of a relationship though he refers to it as that. They’re not even intimate! He’s not gay so she thinks that his just A-sexual and self involved. I said “yeah but the intimacy thing is just not normal!” I then said “too self sufficient…his just too self sufficient..he knows he doesn’t have to depend on anyone..for anything (take it as you will)” I sat there sipping my wine..she then said “see..two ppl have to be co-dependent for a relationship to work..his incapable of depending on another person.”  All this conversation while Red sits next by my feet at the outdoor patio with ppl giving her love and attention every ten minutes or so. Oh, I guess there was this scavenger hunt going on because two guys came up to HY and I and asked “can we take a picture with ladies? We have to check this off!” Before we can answer.. Smile! Click! So anyway.. I don’t know..do two people really have to be co-dependent on eachother for a relationship to work out? Healthy dependency of course. And no..depending on the other person for your happiness is not healthy! Is common happiness not enough?

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